"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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