Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize