You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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