Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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