how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
