My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize