You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
