you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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