this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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