we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
