I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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