3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
MIDGETS
????
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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