Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
