I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
