I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
