I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
