She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
