Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
handjob tips. give me some.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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