it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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