I want to stick my p in your. b.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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