i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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