Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record

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(978): I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record http://tfl.nu/cq61

Replies (17) Good night (2227) Bad night (605)
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(904): View more from Florida

I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.

(1-904): View more from Florida

It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.

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(904): I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling. (1-904): It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that. http://tfl.nu/i3bg

Replies (28) Good night (926) Bad night (2243)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?

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(225): he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel? http://tfl.nu/f7r7

Replies (40) Good night (1297) Bad night (3388)
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(727): View more from Florida

i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.

(1-727): View more from Florida

shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.

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(727): i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened. (1-727): shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face. http://tfl.nu/dien

Replies (13) Good night (4693) Bad night (1134)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Your favorite bartender is back from prision

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(563): Your favorite bartender is back from prision http://tfl.nu/uuje

Replies (12) Good night (6595) Bad night (927)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this

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(781): walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this http://tfl.nu/8ri1

Replies (29) Good night (6643) Bad night (797)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name

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(610): It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name http://tfl.nu/7lfm

Replies (13) Good night (4884) Bad night (1157)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete

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(309): Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete http://tfl.nu/n4gc

Replies (36) Good night (6358) Bad night (1305)
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(815): View more from Illinois

This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.

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(815): This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro. http://tfl.nu/5jtw

Replies (8) Good night (3697) Bad night (1417)
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(435): View more from Utah

Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night

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(435): Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night http://tfl.nu/xeqd

Replies (19) Good night (1985) Bad night (1282)
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(310): View more from California

I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.

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(310): I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied. http://tfl.nu/wnhg

Replies (13) Good night (4744) Bad night (961)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..

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(501): Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him.. http://tfl.nu/3vco

Replies (7) Good night (1707) Bad night (658)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

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(+44): Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome! http://tfl.nu/jhr8

Replies (2) Good night (2062) Bad night (541)
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(714): View more from California

I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging

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(714): I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging http://tfl.nu/ow1d

Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (656)
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(586): View more from Michigan

So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....

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(586): So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up.... http://tfl.nu/j4oi

Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (329)

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