you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.