Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks