Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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