i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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