WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize