from now on my penis is your penis
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
