I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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