He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize