two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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