You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
