it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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