your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
