I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
