new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
