smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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