She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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