could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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