can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
