some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
