4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
