So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
