I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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