When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
