I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
