His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
