So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
