Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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