overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize