I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize