4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
