is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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