it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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