they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
