they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
