She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
