There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
