.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
