Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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